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Helping a hurting friendBy: C4i

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"I mean, I know you'll get through this” I said shakily, knowing as soon as I said it that I was failing as a friend.

Even with good intentions, it can sometimes be hard to help a friend when they are hurting and looking for comfort. When someone you care about is opening up, telling you their private struggles, and making themselves vulnerable, you naturally want to help. But if you're like me - a flawed, awkward, and imperfect human - sometimes you don't know how.

You fumble it. Slide in with a meaningless platitude or generic statement. You look away at the wrong moment and accidentally send the message that you don't care. Where you want to help, you only leave your friend feeling frustrated, misunderstood, or worst of all, unloved. 

Being a good friend is hard at the best of times. Being a good friend when your really, truly needed is even more difficult. It's taken me a long time, and more than a few mistakes that I regret more than anything, but I've found the secret to truly helping a loved one in need boils down to two key things.

Listen closely

Listening is an underrated skill, and one that is much more difficult to practice than to preach. But, listening is also one of the greatest tools of compassion the Lord has given us. So much hurting can be salved just by a good friend who is willing to really listen.

Real listening means understanding and appreciating what the other person is going through. It's resisting the urge to join in and share your own problems (commiserating about similar problems has it's place, but not until the other person has fully expressed themselves). It's about not jumping in with a quick word of advice or a suggested fix (a habit I've had to work on in my own life as a compulsive problem-solver). 

Most of the time, when people want a friend to listen to them, they aren't expecting or desiring solutions or explanations. They just want someone to know what they're going through. So stop spending your time thinking about what you're going to say and start spending it listening.

In our hyper-stimulated, over-accelerated world, it can be difficult to pump the brakes and really invest yourself in one conversation. But real listening requires total focus, eye-contact, and attention. It's not something you can do while checking your Facebook status or responding to a quick text. When a friend is hurting, put away the trivial distractions and focus on what really matters.

Open your ears and your heart. Keep your mouth closed until you really have something to say.

Be present 

God made us as social creatures. Although there is a lot to say for self-reliance and inner-strength, we're wired to crave the contact and support of loved ones and friends. This is all the more important when you're hurting and in need (not want, but need) of contact and support.

We say that when we gather together on Sundays to worship as a community, the Holy Spirit is with us. I feel it is the same way when we support each other when the chips are down. God shows his love through our family and friends. It's through their love and support that the Spirit of the Lord moves and works within us. When someone is hurting, just the simple presence of another can be a tremendous comfort.

If you've ever had the misfortune of waiting in a hospital room you'll understand. When your cold and alone in one of those breezy gowns, unsure of what was going to happen next, scared over what the doctor may say, you'll give anything just for a hand to hold. It's hard to describe the incredible relief a friendly face can bring in those moments.  

In His darkest moment, even Jesus wanted someone near him. In the garden of Gethsemane, knowing that his time on Earth was coming to a close and that He'd soon be taken by the Romans to the agony of crucifixion, Jesus said to James and John "My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me” before retiring to pray.

And when he was done praying, Jesus returned and was dismayed to find His friends had fallen asleep rather than keep watch on him as He asked. Jesus suffered many tortures and agonies being led to the cross, but for some reason, this small betrayal always stood out to me. Here is the Son of God, about to commit the greatest sacrifice imaginable for humanity, a teacher and rabbi who has already done so much for so many and asked for nothing in return - and the one time he asks his disciples for some support, they can't even keep their eyes open.

One can only imagine the shame and regret John and James would feel later. Learn from their mistake. When your friends truly need you, be there for them in a real, meaningful way. 

This may seem like basic advice, and in some ways it is. As humans, compassion is something we've been very good at complicating and mystifying. It might seem a little obvious, but the best way to really help a friend in need is to put yourself aside for a moment, listen, and be there for them. Compassion and empathy don't need to be difficult.
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TEN ANCIENT JUGS PREDATING By: Colin Wingfield

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Ten ancient jugs unearthed at the Judea & Samaria site of the ancient city of Shiloh could lead researchers to new discoveries about the Jewish tabernacle that existed there before the First Temple was built in Jerusalem. The jugs, only some of which were broken, date to the time when the Jewish people first entered the land of Israel. The Bible attributes the tabernacle at Shiloh to the time of the high priest Eli and the prophet Samuel. The newly discovered jugs indicate that in ancient times, the area was vacated abruptly, with residents not having enough time to collect and pack up their belongings. Hanina Hizami, coordination officer for archaeology at the Civil Administration, said, "This is a very exciting find. The destruction could have been caused by the Philistine invasion and the fire that raged at Shiloh.” (Algemeiner) Scripture says of Israel that God’s people take pleasure in her very stones and favor even the dust (Ps 102:15). Such words are confirmed as archaeological excavations continue to unearth layers of history beneath the sand and stones of the Jewish nation. Ongoing discoveries confirm the continuous Jewish connection to the land over the centuries, and in many cases bear out the truth of Biblical accounts. [Comment]

HAMAS AND ISLAMIC JIHAD THREATEN ‘ESCALATION OF THE INTIFADA’ OVER TEMPLE MOUNT:By: Colin Wingfield

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 Palestinian terrorists groups Hamas and the Islamic Jihad called for an escalation in violence amid new Israeli security measures on the Temple Mount. The two groups said that Israeli-installed metal detectors on the Temple Mount -- home to the Al-Aqsa mosque and the Dome of the Rock -- were a red line and intolerable. The metal detectors were placed outside the Temple Mount's nine gates following a terror attack on Friday 14 July 2017, where three Israeli-Arabs killed two Israeli police officers at the holy site. (Worthy News) Tensions in Jerusalem’s Old City and especially in the Temple Mount area are dangerously close to a major explosion. Palestinians refuse stiff security measures, but when Israel backs down on tight precautions Muslims, Jews and tourists have been left vulnerable to, and victims of, murderous terrorist attacks. Please intercede for the peace of Jerusalem. [Comment]

WHITE HOUSE: TRUMP SHARES ISRAEL’S GOAL TO PREVENT IRANIAN RUSH THROUGH SYRIA:By: Colin Wingfield

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Netanyahu seemed to question that commitment over the weekend in Paris, outlining to reporters his opposition to a ceasefire agreement negotiated among Russia, Jordan and the USA holding in southwestern Syria since 11 July 2017. Israel fears the agreement grants Tehran de facto freedom of movement in a region close to its border. It was a rare rebuke of Trump from Netanyahu, who considers the new president a strategic ally. "Both governments – the United States and Israel – are rightly concerned about Iran’s malign influence in the region," said a White House official. "A core goal of USA policy in Syria is to ensure that no vacuum is created which Iran can fill." Israeli diplomatic sources said that Iran is working to establish air, land and sea bases in Lebanon – a development which Jerusalem cannot tolerate. Their designs extend into southern Syria. Jerusalem maintains that Iran is not only interested in sending military advisers to Syria, but also is keen on establishing ground and air bases there, something that could radically change the situation in the region. He said that Israel would oppose any agreement in Syria that enables Iranian backed Hezbollah presence there. (J.Post) How vital is the need for ongoing prayer that the Syrian crisis with so many dangerous political factors vying for a stronghold in the Middle East - and on Israel’s northern borders – will be contained and brought under control. Intercede against the establishment of a permanent Iranian presence in Syria and Lebanon. [Comment]

NETANYAHU: ISRAEL WON’T TOLERATE IRANIAN BASES IN LEBANON, SYRIA: By: Colin Wingfield

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PM Benjamin Netanyahu said this week that Israel opposes the USA-Russian-brokered cease-fire in Syria because it perpetuates Iran’s military presence in the country. He told French President Emmanuel Macron that Iran wants to establish air, land and sea bases in Lebanon, something Jerusalem cannot tolerate. He warned that in addition to Hezbollah’s presence in Lebanon, the Hamas terrorist group is also attempting to gain a foothold there. The Israeli leader asked France – which has a close relationship with Lebanon – to use its influence there to work against efforts to turn the country into a base for more terrorist organizations. Netanyahu said he also raised the issue of Iran’s efforts to establish a permanent base in Syria, saying he was opposed to the agreement reached earlier this month between Russia and the USA regarding a cease-fire in Syria because, while it removes Iranian forces 20 kilometers from Israel’s border, it perpetuates Iran’s military presence in the country. Jerusalem maintains that Iran is keen on establishing ground and air bases there, something that could radically change the situation in the region. He said that Israel would oppose any agreement in Syria that enables a permanent Iranian military presence there. (J.Post) [Comment]

‘I ACCEPT FRENCH RESPONSIBILITY FOR DEPORTATION OF JEWS’:By: Colin Wingfield

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 French president Emmanuel Macron spoke at the ceremony marking 75 years since the deportation of Paris Jews to death camps in July 1942. Macron said that the French were responsible for locating and deporting the Jews. French president Jacques Chirac was the first French leader to publicly admit that the French were guilty of complicity in the deportations and Macron added that he wished to strengthen Chirac's gesture. Macron on Sunday 16 July 2017 also condemned anti-Zionism as a new form of anti-Semitism, in what observers said was an unprecedented statement from the leader of France in support of the Jewish state. (Arutz-7) [Comment]

NETANYAHU IN PARIS TO COMMEMORATE FRENCH DEPORTATION OF JEWS TO DEATH CAMPS:By: Colin Wingfield

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 Israeli PM Netanyahu is in Paris to commemorate the victims of a mass arrest of Jews in Nazi-occupied France in 1942. More than 13,000 Jews were rounded up and detained at a cycling stadium, the Velodrome d'Hiver, before being deported to Nazi death camps. Netanyahu will also hold direct talks for the first time with French President Emmanuel Macron. He is the first Israeli prime minister to attend the Vel d'Hivcommemorations. "I'm here to mourn the victims," Netanyahu told an audience in Paris, which included Jewish groups and Holocaust survivors. "Seventy-five years ago, a heavy darkness descended on this city. The values of the French revolution - equality, fraternity, liberty - were crushed brutally under the boot of anti-Semitism." While warning against the dangers of modern extremism, he hailed the "great, great human beings" who had risked their lives to save Jews in France during Nazi occupation. Out of the more than 13,000 Jews arrested by French police on 16 and 17 July 1942, about 4,000 were children. The families were taken to the Velodrome D'Hiver, a cycling stadium near the Eiffel Tower, or an internment camp set up just outside the capital at Drancy. They were then deported by train, mostly to Auschwitz concentration camp. Fewer than 100 people survived. (BBC) [Comment]

WHITE HOUSE: ZERO TOLERANCE FOR TERRORISM, WE APPLAUD ISRAEL: By: Colin Wingfield

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 The White House on Saturday 15 July 2017, condemned the previous day's terror attack in Jerusalem's Old City and praised Israel's decision to close the Temple Mount to Muslims. "Yesterday, the Holy City of Jerusalem became a scene of terror," the statement said. "The people of the United States are heartbroken that terrorists brutally gunned down two Israeli police officers, and we extend our prayers and sympathies to the families of the victims. There must be zero tolerance for terrorism." Following the attack, Israel closed the Temple Mount to allow security forces to search the area for weapons and additional terrorists. Later, Israel also closed the Old City to Muslims who do not live there. The Temple Mount area was reopened Sundayafternoon 16 July 2017. Last week’s attack came a month after border police officer Hadas Malka, 23, was stabbed to death by a Palestinian terrorist next to Jerusalem's Damascus gate. (INN) Pray according to scripture for all those who have lost loved ones in recent terrorist attacks: "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Ps 34:18 [Comment]

MUSLIM WAQF REFUSES TO COMPLY WITH NEW SECURITY MEASURES IN JERUSALEM’S OLD CITY: By: Colin Wingfield

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The Muslim Waqf, headed by the Mufti of Jerusalem, is refusing to cooperate with the new security procedures that police have instituted on the Temple Mount following the murderous attack at the compound last Friday 14 July 2017. Waqf officials announced that they would not pass through the electronic entrance gates set up by police at two of the entrances used by Muslims to enter the Temple Mount site. According to them, setting up the metal detecting equipment and conditioning entry on a personal check constitutes a violation of the status quo on the Mount. It will be noted that, in the days since the terror attack last week during which two Border Policemen were murdered, police have conducted extensive searches on the Temple Mount, where they have discovered much inciting material and items for use during riots. (Arutz-7) [Comment]

JERUSALEM ON EDGE AFTER POLICE OFFICERS MURDERED AT TEMPLE MOUNT: By: Colin Wingfield

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 There was bolstered security in and around Jerusalem's Old City mere hours after two Border Police officers were shot dead by Muslim terrorists following prayers atop the Temple Mount on Friday 14 July 2017. Recently Jordan, which administers the Temple Mount, complained about Israel installing metal detectors at the entrances to the holy site. So, Israel removed them. And that allowed three terrorists from the northern Israel town of Umm al-Fahm to attend the Friday Islamic prayers armed with guns, which they used to murder the Israeli policemen as they departed the time of worship. Israeli responded by closing the Temple Mount completely for the first time since 1969, reinstalling the metal detectors and arresting three Islamic Trust (Waqf) officials who are believed to have facilitated the assault. Israel reopened the Temple Mount to Muslim worshipers on Sunday afternoon, 16 July 2017 following a fierce outcry from the Islamic world. Ignoring almost completely the unprovoked attack on the policemen, Muslim leaders from Israel and from across the Arab world accused the Jewish state of moving the region closer to religious conflict. Muslims claim that Israel will use such incidents to "Judaize" the Temple Mount. (Israel Today) Please intercede that mounting tensions in the Old City of Jerusalem will be dispelled and that new security measures for the safety of all will be respected and complied with. Pray against terrorist attacks in and around Jerusalem. [Comment]

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