5 things your children will learn from you

Parenthood is one of life's greatest joys. But, it is also a parent's heaviest responsibility. While you may not realize it, nobody will study you harder than your children. To a young child, their father and mother is their world. They set the standards by which they will base their own life, the attitudes they will adopt, the relationships they'll enter. Including the relationship they'll have with Christ.

You're children are always learning from you, make sure they're picking up the right lessons.

When you talk to your family, are you really listening? It's one thing to sit there and passively absorb the sounds coming out of your child's mouth, but are you making an effort to actually hear what they're saying? What about your partner? When your wife or husband asks you something, do you just respond with a non-committal "yup” or are you paying attention?

This can be more difficult than it sounds. When you're burning the candle at both ends between work, home, and the million other responsibilities you have, it's easy to drift into auto-pilot. We're all guilty from time to time to letting our attention lapse, especially when what is being said might not seem particularly important to you. But, you need to remember that it IS important to the person saying it, and when that person is your spouse of child, you need to focus up and treat them with the same attention and care you would want to receive.

The role of a parent is one of trust. Children need to be able to depend that what their parents say one day will hold up the next. This is why it is so important to maintain the value of your word with your children. You need to keep your promises, practice what you preach, and avoid hypocrisy. 

Children need to learn from example that honesty and integrity matters, and that comes from the top down. If you scold them for doing one thing and then turn right and around and do it yourself, what are you teaching them? If you make a promise than skip out on it later, what will they think the value of your promises are in the future? 

The way you treat other people will directly influence how your children treat people in their own life. And this doesn't just apply to your spouse, family members, and close friends (although those certainly matter). It also applies to the strangers and random people you bump into while out and about. The other parents in line at the grocery store, the squeaky-voiced teen in the drive-thru window, or the weird lady feeding pigeons in the park.

Most of us are pretty on the ball when it comes to treating the obvious and important people in our life well, but how do you deal with the rest? Are you showing your children that you should treat others with kindness, respect, and decency? Or, are you showing them that it's okay to be rude, hostile, or short with the "little people” who make up the daily grind? They'll take whatever lesson you teach them forward in life.

It's easy to be a role model when everything is smooth sailing. The real example comes when you are really tested. When you take some hard knocks, some disappointments, when the sadness of life comes. That's when you step up as a parent and show your children what Christians are made of.

When things are bad, how to you respond? Do you give into discouragement and despair? Or, do you turn your troubles over to the Lord? Do you take strength in faith? When responding to a tragedy or hardship, you don't need to be able to fix it right away, but you do need to be the calm rock your family can take reassurance from in trying times.

While you may tell your children about the importance of a walk with Christ, what are you showing them? Do you pray? Do you regularly celebrate community with your fellow Christians at church? Do you live up to the ideals of a Christian life when nobody else is watching?

Everyone's spiritual journey is different, but your children will take their cues from yours. They'll see when you followed God, and when you stumbled. They'll learn from you what is important, and what you just pay lip-service to. 

If you want your children to learn the right lessons from you, make your spiritual walk a priority. Lead from example and make your Christian life something you would be proud for your children to emulate.